First of all, these are all phone snaps. Which on one hand is the sign that I'm a shit blogger & on the other hand is a sign that I had way too much of a good time to worry about dragging my camera round with me (my camera is huge). They say when you're having a rubbish time, your real friends prevail. This could not be truer of a few weeks ago. I was having the worst time of my life and my oldest friend popped over for a cuddle and glass of wine. An hour later we had booked a holiday to Marbella. Best decision of the year so far. Maybe ever. This is my second day back, and I'm already planning to go back to old Marbs again in the not so distant future. With this is mind, I was thinking of my do's and don'ts of going to this beautiful, weird, wonderful town. I thought what better place to share these than a blog post (seen as I've been a bad blogger the rest of the holiday... maybe I can redeem myself)
DONT get so emotional saying goodbye to your dog that he gets himself in a pickle and scratches your thigh. He and I are joined at the hip, we love each other more than life itself, but next time I will certainly tone down the farewells. I realise this is applicable to any holiday, but I ended up having to walk round one of the nicest places on earth with two HUGE bruises down my thigh, like a twat. I'm not even exaggerating how big they were, I don't know what the hell people thought I had been doing. I thought about putting a photo up of them here, but its too embarrassing. No doubt they will make a sneaky appearance in some of the photos though, there was no getting away from them or covering them up. This is definitely a big don't for any holidays to come.
DO stay at the NH hotel. It was bloody lovely. Now, granted, the main reason I loved it so much was the breakfast buffet (gal loves her food) but it was also a super nice hotel in a great location. However, back to the food. There was everything you could imagine. I did get a bit overwhelmed by it and ended up mixing churros, scrambled eggs, doughnuts and fruit, but it was glorious. They even had champagne as part of the buffet. Needless to say, the last couple of mornings I have been home, I have seriously missed my morning bucks fizz. Plain old orange juice just does not cut it.
DONT hire out a 2 seater chopper bike. Yes they look cool... but do they get you anywhere faster? Absolutely not. Admittedly, this was my fault. It was about 32 degrees and we wanted to do a long walk down the promenade to get to the marina, but decided it was too far to trek in the mid day heat. I had a light bulb moment and remembered a little bike and segway hire place on the beach that I had seen the day before. In my head, it was a great idea. I could picture us cruising along, wind in our hair, not having to carry our bags and making it there in a fraction of the time. The reality, I did 3 minutes on the bike before nearly collapsing of heat exhaustion. My legs felt like they were going to drop off and I had sweat literally dripping down my back. Gross I know. Also, everyone was laughing at us. On the plus side, we were also laughing (in parts). Aside from the pain, heat and discomfort it was fucking funny.
DO go to Ocean beach club and DONT worry about the price of things there. It is well worth it. I think we got our day there spot on. We booked our bed before we went and set aside most of our euros to take there, meaning we could have whatever we wanted without having to stress about it. Yes it is £17 for a gin & tonic, but let me tell you, you cannot compare our G&T's at home to the ones there. They don't measure anything out, the glass is literally half full of gin... just what you want. It was the best day. Everyone is loving life, it's in a beautiful location and you get your own waiter to look after you all day. He changes the ice in your bucket every half an hour and even if you get up to go for a tinkle he makes sure you're ok. It was bliss just laying there in the heat, listening to the music and drinking. They also have INSANE dancers. Yes, the girls will make you feel like Danny DeVito but when the boys come out it's like being surrounded by tall, ripped Jason Derulo's gyrating around the pool (& around you, if you're as lucky as I was.) It's definitely a place to tick off your bucket list.
DONT text someone you fancy at home after a cocktail and 5 G&T's at Ocean Beach. Yes, it does seem like a good idea at the time and your friend will confirm said great idea... until the next day when she will say "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" and you say "YOU TOLD ME TO!". I must remember I am not on Love Island and neither should I act like it. #fauxpas.
DO spend and evening at the marina. It will be one of, if not the best, place to people watch you will ever go. We sat there for a good 4 hours having dinner and drinks & it blew my tiny little mind. The yacts, the people, the cars. I saw the shiniest gold Lamborghini you ever did see, I'm not into cars in the slightest but even I was impressed. It is just so fascinating. I saw more plastic faces there than when I used to walk down the old Barbie isle in Woolworths on a Saturday morning. The lip fillers were something else. When we were having dinner we sat near two girls, both of whom couldn't really feed themselves properly through their over inflated mouths. I kid you not, they did not speak to each other once. Not once. They were on their Louis Vuitton covered phones the whole time. All they did was scroll through Instagram and take selfies...not even with each other, just of themselves. Insane.
DONT acknowledge the looky looky men, at all. Now I'm a friendly soul, I love a chat, but even I found myself having to be a bit rude to them. One day one of them sneezed whilst walking past us, "bless you" I said. Do you think we could get rid of him after that? Absolutely not. He clearly took that "bless you" as "yes I would love to buy one of your knock off Ronaldo kits for a 4 year old child". Once we had said no to that, he thought offering us drugs by repeatedly uttering "you want something" would be the next sensible option to get a sale out of us. Sorry mate, the only thing I'm going to be sniffing this holiday is the overwhelming scent of Thierry Mugler 'Alien' from the passing hen parties.
DO have a Paella while you're out there. There is a strip of beautiful little restaurants right on the beach where you can get probably the best paella I've ever had. That is all I need say on the subject, if you go, just do it. You will not regret it. Apart from if you have a shellfish allergy, in which case you probably will regret it.
Lastly, DO go for longer. We went for 3 nights and 4 days and I just was not ready to come home. Although saying that, I don't think I would have been ready to come home however long I went for. We decided to go for a short break because everyone told us how expensive it is, which is true if you go to certain places, but overall we didn't really find that. At the beach bar nearest our hotel you could get a beer and glass of Cava for £5! Now you cant complain about that. The food on the outskirts of the fancy part was also really reasonable, and there was a Lidl right near us so we could nip and get snacks and drinks to have in our hotel room or on the beach. Next time I go, & there will be a next time, I will definitely go for longer.
Red Cat Eye Sunglasses - Asos | Gingham Bikini Bottom - Asos | South Beach Black Bikini Top - Asos | Yellow Ribbed Bikini - Asos | Red Bikini Set - Triangl Swimwear | Knotted Sliders - Topshop | Denim Slip Dress - Asos | Red Jumpsuit - French Connection
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