THE BEST MEDICINE

 

Zara Embroidered Dress | Nomadic State of Mind Sandals  | H&M Straw Bag 

 

I mentioned in my last post that I was going to share my top break up tips with you. This is, aside from listening to a lot of really cheesy independent women songs... i.e., Kelly Clarkson 'Stronger', Little Mix 'Shout Out To My Ex' & even the odd Christina Aguilera 'Fighter' if you're really feeling desperate. My number one tip though, is by far, hanging out and making plans with your gal pals. I tell you what, I never knew there was such happiness like driving along a country road with your pal in 28 degrees heat, aircon blowing in your face & Cheryl Cole "Call My Name" blaring out of the speakers. Or is it Tweedy again? Or Fernandez Vercini still? Either way, it was just what the Dr ordered. These gals have really pulled me out of some shit. In the last few weeks, we have drank way too much, ate even more, got home when its getting light and booked exciting things to look forward to. After a rare weekend off (it's like gold dust in retail) and having my oldest friend to stay all weekend, I woke up this morning feeling like I'd had the most hard core session at the gym. My abs were literally aching from laughing so hard and my arms felt like I'd been lifting giant cow bells, when in fact I'd been doing handstands and cartwheels in the garden in my bikini while she sat in the sun drinking a Corona (or 6). Whoever said laughter is the best medicine really was onto something and I can confirm, after some thorough research, that it is in fact, true. When you feel a bit shit or you feel like your world has imploded in on itself, its really easy to tuck yourself away from everything but use the excuse that you're just going to "chill out". When actually you're wrapped in a snotty duvet, covered in your own tears with unwashed hair watching Love Island and wondering why you haven't found your Kem. Don't be that girl. Say yes to things. "Do you want to go for a drink?" Yes I do. "Do you want to go to the seaside?" Yes I do. "Do you want to go on Holiday?" Yes I mother fucking do. Say yes to every opportunity that your girls want to hang out with you and I promise you, you will feel 100 times better and your little love tank will be 100% full. I have made memories recently, through saying yes, that I will never ever forgot. I'm sure there are songs, smells and quotes that will take me right back to the last few weekends and I can look at them with fond memories and a smile rather than thinking "Jesus Christ that Summer sucked". To any of my friends reading this who have spent even an hour with me, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I LOVE RYLAN CLARKE ...(maybe)

 

x



HERES TO MY YEAR

 

 

 

 

 

 

H&M Wrap Blouse | Asos Farliegh Jeans | Topshop Mules | Primark Bag

 

 

So I mentioned before, that I have had a bit of a rough time lately. Bit being an understatement. I lost my beloved dog of 15 years & my beautiful Nan within a week of each other. A month down the line, I have also lost my Fiancé... (don't worry, he hasn't died, he just dumped me). That's all I'm really going to say on the matter, as I have a bit more respect for him that to post about the nitty gritty and gush about my heartbreak on social media or my blog. Although saying this, I am definitely going to have to do a '10 tips for getting over a break up' post, because I have got them all... because I am coping. Really well. I can say with confidence that I have really surprised myself and I am so proud. I am not good with change one bit. I like to be in a routine, I like everyone and everything around me to be familiar. Then in the space of a couple of months, 3 major loves of my life are gone and I've moved back with my Mum and Dad. If someone had given me a heads up at the start of the year that this would all happen, I would have prepared everyone around me for a major mental breakdown. I would have written myself off. To be honest for about 4 days I was completely overwhelmed, felt the lowest I had ever felt in my life and I did write myself off. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I looked bloody awful and it's probably the least hygienic I've ever been after wasting away in my duvet for 96 hours. Everything had rolled into one big ball of metaphorical shit and I was the dung beetle trying to push it away. I was popping Kalms and Nytol like no ones business, and my dog, who normally loves nothing more than cuddling up to me, couldn't come near me. Every time he walked within 2 metres of me I would cling onto his ears for dear life and cry into his face. He's probably now more emotionally scarred than I am. Luckily my friends, family and work colleagues have been amazing through everything that's happened. It's true that in your hour of need you find out who your real friends are, and luckily for me it's everyone I thought it would be and more, they have gone above and beyond. They all took it in turns for me to snot all over their shoulders, I've had surprise parcels, flowers and cards and they really have been there for me day or night.

After 4 days of my crisis, I kind of came to a crossroads. Is this what my life will be like? Will I just stay in and wallow all the time? And believe me I was wallowing like no one has ever wallowed before. I was the wallow Queen. Rik Wollow (I am aware its 'Waller', but it was crying out to be said.) Then I thought fuck this. It would be really easy to write this off as the worst year of my life, because so far it has been, but what's to say the next 6 months wont be the best? Since that fateful 4 day point, I have not looked back. I have cuddled up with my friends, drank shit loads of wine, ate shit loads of pizza, shopped like I've never shopped before ("£100 jumpsuit you say? I'll take 2") and booked holidays. I'm off to Marbella in 3 weeks with my oldest friend, I'm planning a holiday to Croatia for my birthday with one of my closest friends in the world and I have numerous days and nights out planned. That's not to say I still don't get sad, obviously I do, but I never thought I would be able to handle these things being thrown upon me, and I have. I am doing it. I am having fun. Another thing that does make me feel better, is that I know my Nan would be so proud of me, and that helps me to deal with the loss of her. She was so stubborn and sassy and it turns out I have more of her character traits than I thought.

 

It is also worth noting, whilst I am a boyfriend down I am, in turn, an 'insta boyfriend' down. That's probably what tipped him over the edge to be honest. Forcing him to take photos of me at different angles for 23 hours a day in all weather conditions. I don't blame the poor bugger for wanting a rest. I did have that "well I will never blog again thought", but of course I will. I will find a way. For now, my lovely Uncle Alan & Mum have stepped up to take my photos... but I do have a vacancy for Instagram Husband going if anyone would like to apply.